#192: Listen to This Before You Go for a Swim
Cori Myka is the founder of Calm Within Adult Swim, teaching adults not only how to swim but also how to develop habits and mindsets to overcome fear and build confidence. Those are great skills to have in any walk of life.
We’re discussing where the idea for an online swim instruction business came from, what Cori has learned from helping people transform their lives, and whether it’s better to jump into a body of water or walk in slowly and steadily.
Highlights of our conversation
The origin story of Cori’s fondness for water. (2:58)
Where the idea for the business came from. (4:43)
A dive into why we feel afraid and Cori’s cardinal rule. (7:14)
How Cori teaches adults to swim in virtual settings and the processes she aims to build. (9:05)
Mainly an excuse for me to share this great Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. (14:20)
How watching other people’s transformations has changed Cori. (18:47)
Something that’s surprised Cori about running a business. (20:55)
The top three things to say while standing in ice water. (24:30)
Where to find Cori Myka
Learn more about Calm Within Adult Swim.
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Joey: To start, can you give us your name and your elevator pitch, but also the type of elevator that we're riding on?
Cori Myka: The type of elevator that we're riding on. Oh, that is a new one. I will say the type of, do I start at the end here? The type of elevator that I would be riding on. Actually, this is a game we play in the water of, uh, going down, um, past your point of buoyancy and then the water lifts you up like taking a free ride up the elevator.
So,
Joey: I love it. It's a water centric
Cori Myka: a water centric elevator. Yes. Yeah, so, um, I'm Cori Myka and, uh, I use she, her pronouns and, I teach adults overcoming fear in deep water and teach them how to have freedom and love and, um, no regrets, leave shame and regret behind. So that's what we do.
Joey: Were you a fan of the water growing up? Was this like you as soon as you stepped outside, you're like, let me find a body of water and get in there.
Cori Myka: I think according to that story, my mom likes to tell of me being a toddler running across The highway, because there was, um, a puddle of water to go play in. We'll say yes, that yes, I have always been a water person.
Joey: It's a real life Frogger is kind of your origin story trying to get Get to a puddle. Although I think in Frogger, you lose if you fall in the water, which I never fully understood. I'm like, frogs can go in the water. It's
Cori Myka: Oh, right. Yes. I hadn't thought about that. Yeah.
Joey: Wild times, wild times. My, um, I, I feel like I was, I was more a fan of water as a kid and I've, I've kind of lost touch of it. I always like to go swimming. I just feel like I do it less often as an adult. So I, I, I was excited to, to chat with you. And I'm, I'm curious though, Again, we talked about the origin story here of this going across the highway.
How many lanes was the highway to find the
Cori Myka: I think, I mean, they were, we were visiting grandparents in Wisconsin, so I think it was just some like rural highway kind of thing. So probably two lanes, but the full part of the story is mom had a back injury. She's laying in the back of the car. The dad's checking us into the hotel, so he's occupied.
And what does the toddler do? The toddler toddles off to go find her love and her passion. So, um, yeah, that's the, that's the bigger picture of the paint, the whole scene, why it was so terrifying for mom.
Joey: The Toddler does what toddlers
Cori Myka: Yes. Yeah.
Joey: so how did you go from that from playing in puddles to calm within adult swim? Like where did that idea come
Cori Myka: Yeah. So, um, Obviously a long way between a two year old toddler and, um, and adulthood, but, you know, swimming was something that, uh, I did all, all through. It was my thing that I did for my summer job, right? Every summer, it's a great job, lifeguard, right? You return to it every year. And I do really remember the first adult that I ever worked with.
Um, she, Was really old, which now that I look back at it, I don't know, maybe she was 60 or something, right? But to me, she was like near death old, but she was so afraid and little like 15 year old me is trying to figure out what to do with her. And I had a lot of compassion for her, but I didn't really have great tools of how to work with her.
But, and then fast forward. A few years later, um, probably more like 10 years later, I, uh, we did, my husband and I, uh, started a swim school and we worked with adults. Um, but primarily we were doing kids at the time, but I could get an adult to swim across the pool and I'd say, how was it? And she would say, I have no idea.
And I thought, okay, what is going on here? Right. They could do the mechanics. We're following like the traditional, I'll just say community center style programming, right. Of, um, of how to teach swimming and break it down. But that question so intrigued me. What's the difference between being able to do a physical skill and actually being able to own it and to, um, Feel free in it and to feel like you can go from, I can do this thing too.
I am, I am a swimmer. I'm at one with my activity and the thing I'm doing. So, um, through that process of inquiry and working with people, I started really going down the path of mindfulness and swimming and having to understand the adult brain and swimming. And that's really where. The calm within Adult Swim comes from of our focus in on that piece of it.
Joey: Was there something as you went down that path that kind of surprised you? Because I always like a good dive into mindfulness or, how our brains work. And was there something where you're like, I wasn't totally expecting that, but it makes total sense.
Cori Myka: Well, I can say the thing that, um, I say to my students all the time that like every time I say it, it's sort of a revolution of this idea. Why do people feel afraid? Um, you know, you could have lots of stories and reasons and trauma and blah, blah, blah. But at the end of the day, It's because you can't breathe and you should feel afraid if you can't breathe like this is normal, but we feel Shame about this or we make up a whole story or there's this whole other thing that goes along with I feel afraid and Just taking a step back in terms of in the mindfulness world of like wait a second Is there some legitimacy to feeling afraid?
Oh, there is, but I need to work with that part of my system. So we always say our cardinal rule is air always has to be easy. Uh, when air is easy, the whole system can start to slow down and then we can truly practice mindfulness from a curiosity standpoint instead of a, frenetic, my systems and overload standpoint. Yep.
Joey: started recording of, the cedar out here in Texas just being outrageous and air is not easy in those cases. That just, that was a nice little light bulb that just went off. I'm like, Oh, yes. Now you do this instruction Online and in virtual settings. And I, when I first saw that, I was like, I'm not an expert swimmer, but I know that you need to be in water to be able to do it.
So is, are people, do they typically have that reaction of just like, wait, how can I learn how to swim if there's no water involved, like during the
Cori Myka: Yeah, ultimately, yes, there is water involved at some point in time, and you're right. You do need to have a water experience. You're not going to just learn to swim in your head because especially for adults, because the adult has a powerful thinking brain, which is good. Right? It tells you to, whatever, go inside when those cedar trees are blowing all their stuff around and not just sit under it and get more congested.
Joey: said, We
Cori Myka: we have this thinking brain, we have to deal with that piece first. And we have to take care of that piece first. And that piece doesn't require the water. To begin with, and we have to set ourselves up with a certain framework on when we go to the water. How do I want to show up? How do I need to be?
How do I need to be thinking about this space? Because most of the time people are thinking we, we have pretty all or nothing thinking, right? It's like I. Don't know what to do to I'm supposed to look like Michael Phelps. I'm supposed to swim the front crawl across the pool. And there's like, yeah,
Joey: it's, he's like a literal genetic free freak.
Cori Myka: you don't need to be a genetic freak to learn to swim or to have your swimmer ness come out. Um, yeah. So that's really where the online, it breaks it. We break things down into steps. Small enough parts that an adult can go to a pool. And we do suggest going to, you know, a lifeguarded pool and that sort of thing.
But you can go to a pool and be like, ah, I just need to do this one thing. I just need to bring my focus and understanding to this one thing, not all of it. And people have a new and different experience. And then they can come back, get the next, like, okay, now I'm ready. Go online again, do the mental work, find out what's the one next thing.
And people find tremendous success that way.
Joey: Yeah, I think that's such an important distinction to call in as someone who has also been not swim related, but going through sort of a mindset shift in prospecting for different writing clients and it was that same sort of like, that's such a simple idea of like, you don't have to do it all at once, like by getting the process down like that.
It's so helpful just in building the habit and growing, you know, a little bit at a time. And I think the Michael Phelps example is a great example of that. We see that we're like, Oh, that's what I should try to get to. And it's like, no, even Michael Phelps wasn't Michael Phelps. Initially, even with his crazy duck body, and absurd shoulders that are still like the broadest I've ever seen on a human being.
And I think that's that's just such a important distinction to call
Cori Myka: Right. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I think about like, uh, If you go to, as an adult to learn, let's say a foreign language, it's challenging in that because your brain can process as an adult with all the complexity of our adult thinking. But to learn a foreign language, you have to go back to, let's just say the baby talk of that language, right?
You have to start with Very tiny concepts and it's that's can be frustrating if we don't take care of the mindset part of it too, right? Because you have to you have to give yourself space that this is normal. This is exactly how it's supposed to be But yeah, the adult brain wants to jump ahead so we have to We have to work with that.
Joey: Is there a I know everyone is different in that, but is there something that you've found that works for a lot of people have kind of cuz I agree, I think like As a kid, you know, you can walk up to someone and, and say like, Hey, do you want to play? And if they say no, you're just like, Oh, okay. If you're an adult and they say no, you're like, Oh, like, what did I, what did I do wrong?
Like, did I, do I come across as a, as a jerk they don't want to play with? And then there's just all this inner monologuing going. So is there something, To, for lack of a better phrase, to get rid of some of that self doubt and lack of confidence that it seems like all of us as adults have.
Cori Myka: Yeah. Well, I think the first thing is, is, uh, becoming conscious of it, becoming conscious of our unconsciousness, right? Like that, Oh, this voice is always running in my head. It doesn't always tell the truth, right? It just, we liked, we're story making machines, right? Right. You know, we know this phrase, our brain likes to interpret things and tell stories.
And so the more we can, um, gain space from that and to get a little objective about it. It's super helpful. And that's where, again, going back to our rule of air always has to be easy, getting it really simple. You know, I don't know how to breathe. Okay. Well, what are you doing right now? Breathing. Okay. So, maybe we don't have to say you don't know how to breathe because you'd be dead if you didn't.
Joey: Yeah. That would be, that's, that's very good. I like it. Now, one of my favorite comic strips, probably my favorite comic strip, is Calvin and Hobbes. And I will put a link to this one in the show notes, but there's a strip where they're going into. Yeah. Some body of water, probably a lake, uh, and Calvin is like one toe at a time, you know, just like very slowly going in and Hobbes is like, no, no, no, it's better to just cannonball in, you know, get it over with all at once.
And Calvin's like, no, no, no, you gotta go in slow, acclimate it. And. I always think this is a fun debate. So which, which one are you? Are you, you got to jump in right away? Just, you know, let it all happen. Or are you like slow and steady? Make my way in
Cori Myka: I'm a slow and steady girl. Every time I'm slow and steady, which I think is why I'm very good at this work because I can, I don't have, people will say, oh, you're so patient. Not really. I just, I'm a slow and steady. I know the slow and steady wins the race. Right. And so I'm not in a hurry for people. Um, and here's the thing that I also want people to know what, especially when it comes to something like swimming is that, um, you can do the proverbial dive right in to something when you know, for certain your life is not in danger.
You know, you can dive right in, let's say podcasting here, we're doing a podcast. You know, how many people just dive right into podcasting without like knowing really what they're doing. And you can do it because at the end of the day, maybe your ego is hurt, right? There's no actual threat there, but with swimming, people do know there is an actual consequence of that.
And so, um, we do like people to. Be able to take that adult ownership and the whole just do it attitude around aquatics doesn't really serve people. So yeah, I'm definitely slow and steady.
Joey: I like it. In the, in the strip, Hobbes just goes in and cannonballs. And then he's like, Oh, I'm cold. And Calvin's like, well, we'll never know which way is better now.
Cori Myka: Yeah. Yeah.
Joey: I agree. I am also generally slow and steady. Every once in a while. I'm like, all right, we are just going to jump in here and Usually, yeah, I'm like, I should have slowed and steadied it.
Cori Myka: And
Joey: A lot of the times here it's like 110 degrees, so really anything feels great.
Cori Myka: yeah, I mean, if it's something you know how to do, like you have already jumped into a pool, we'll just say, you know, you've already jumped into water before, you know how that's going to work. The only thing you're doing is let's say ripping off the bandaid of the temperature change. Then maybe there's a case for it, but I got to look out for my newbies.
Joey: Yes, yes, yes. Now beyond teaching newbies how to swim, you also Teach people how to become swim instructors. Who should go down that path? Is it just anyone who's graduated from your class or do they need to have that? That, uh, Oh my God, I'm blanking on the French term that like Je ne sais quoi or whatever you say it.
Do they need to have that secret sauce to become an instructor too?
Cori Myka: The, I think the big secret sauce that I'm finding with instructors is they are people, this is generalizing, but they are people who, um, they love being around the water, being in and around the water and actually, frankly, maybe haven't even taught, they just have this passion around it and they want to get out and do something that they love.
That is just so heart filling. Right. And it's just a real heart kind of thing because to, to be with somebody, when they go from being afraid to jumping off the, into the deep end, like it's a really transformative experience. And so, yeah, most of our, our favorite teachers, they're ones who's like, worked desk jobs.
And they're like, Oh my gosh, I need to move and like have something that makes my heart sing. Um, and they love and love the water, right? They just have a passion for the water themselves.
Joey: Well, maybe that's a nice segue into a question that we always like to ask here. A question you wish you were asked more frequently and you kind of touched on it with the transformation here, but how has working. With so many people over the years and watching their transformation changed you.
Cori Myka: How it has changed me is this, um, the concept of really accepting and loving oneself. I'll give you a little example. I, um, we videotape our students, uh, when they're doing various things. And so. Everybody's in their swimsuits or some sort of swim garb. And, you know, you're not used to seeing yourself like that, having videos of you, frankly.
And, um, but I see my students and there's not a single one of them that I look at their body and go, Uh, uh, or I'm criticizing or like, you know, being judgmental about, they are just so sweet and beautiful and exploratory. And I just love them up exactly how they are. And they come in all shapes and sizes and everything in between.
But of course, when I see a video of me, I'm not so nice. So, uh, I have to remember if there is nothing, if I can't say anything bad about them, why do I do that for myself? And so this piece of self love and learning to tune in and trust myself and to, um, have this piece of slowing down and have a little separation between that automatic, in this case, judgmental thought about my body, right?
To give myself a little space around that. And the more I give that to my students, the more it has changed and transformed me to give it to myself as well.
Joey: Yeah, I just, uh, did a big group outing earlier this week and saw, like, we all, you know, took a group picture at the end and I was just like, everyone looks so good on here. I'm like, but what am I doing? Like, what's this face I'm making? It was like halfway between. It's just like, no, no, like you had a good time.
Everyone's having fun. Like that's, that's the important part.
Cori Myka: Yeah. Yeah. Those pictures can be, we can be so mean.
Joey: Now you, you said you started. This swimming business originally. So you've, you've been running a business at some capacity for quite some time. What's something that surprised you about running a business?
Cori Myka: Well, the surprise that came up to me this year was, uh, 25 years. How the heck that happened? Yeah, I did say, Oh my gosh, this is our 25th anniversary. How could that happen? Um, and really the surprise of that is, uh, Just this idea of following one's passion, right? And, um, just, I think we got to 25 years because we just kept putting one foot in front of the other.
Sometimes we push into big things. Sometimes we just like stay true to our core. Values and our core mission and core things that we do. And, um, but we just stay with it and keep being the power of the curiosity for your own business and, um, just goes so such a long way
Joey: I love it. So you were pre Y2K. Was this, was this a concern for you or was it just like, no, everyone's overreacting.
Cori Myka: for you. Why do K that's funny. I do remember, um, my, at the time, boyfriend, um, now husband, uh, yeah, I remember us walking to a park that night. Where we could see the whole city. Is it all going to go dark? Yeah,
Joey: pretty, it's pretty wild to think back
Cori Myka: it is
Joey: it's just like, like, cause I, I mean, I was a teenager then and I don't think I like fully understood. I was like, why would this, like, why would this impact things so much? Like I couldn't understand like what the potential gravity of it was. And then, you know, January 1st, 2000 came and went and it was like, Oh, okay.
Everything's going to be fine.
Cori Myka: right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I mean, for us, we're, we're pre really selling things on the internet and that was the bit I, I really remember having a, uh, an employee who was like, you have to get on the internet, I'm like, What is that? What's going on there? And she got us on there and I am forever grateful because I don't know how long it would have taken me to figure that one out if she, you know, didn't tell me.
It's not tech is not my world. Um, and, uh, yeah, so my kids are like, What? You did what? You sold not on the internet? How is that even possible?
Joey: I know it's wild to think back of like, no, you used to like actually go places. I mean, I guess, malls do still exist in some capacity, but it's definitely, it's not like it
Cori Myka: No, it is not. Three things on the shelf. Hopefully they have it that you can look at and then go order it online, right? The right size.
Joey: online. So did you, I'm just thinking now the first time I made a website, which was literally just like, One page through like a GeoCities site and like we put strawberries on the background. We had the like text that would follow the mouse everywhere. Was this initial website like this as well?
Or did you have a little more class by the time you got online?
Cori Myka: No, it was ours was, uh, I couldn't even tell you what the platform it was on. Cause again, I didn't do it, but it was, um, I think it was more like that. Just brochure, right? It was a brochure. We had little bubbles that had kids faces on it, um, and we like clicked on the bubble to find out whatever it was to find out. like that. Yeah.
Joey: Amazing. Amazing. I love it. All right. Well, Cori, you're almost off the hook here. But we always like to wrap up with a top three. And we were talking about that frigid water before. So what are the top three things to say while standing in ice
Cori Myka: Yeah. So I picked that way because that ice water is not something we do with our students very often, but it's something I do and it connects me to my students. Like this experience, like going into ice water. Whew. So top three things. One, uh, first thing that I say when I'm going into ice water is this is exactly how it's supposed to feel, which might feel terrible.
My brain might interpret it as terrible, but like. It's exactly how it's supposed to feel. And then, um, I also say, um, that my body is doing it exactly right. Because the thing when you go into ice water is your feet like, clam up because all the blood's leaving to your core. It's exactly, yeah, my body's doing the right thing.
Third thing I always tell myself, This is winning. Count for 10 seconds. This is winning. It's all I have to do.
Joey: Fantastic. Well, I'm going to go jump into some ice after this, I think, but before. We do. If people want to learn more about you, maybe they're like, Hey, I'm finally going to learn how to swim this year. Where can they find you?
Cori Myka: Adult swim lesson.com is our website, so that's the best place to find us. Adult swim lesson.com or um, all our socials is calm within Adult Swim.
Joey: Fantastic. Cori, thank you so much. This is
Cori Myka: Thanks for having me. This is fun.
Joey: And of course, we've got to end with a corny joke as we always do. What do you call a salmon wearing a bow tie?
Cori Myka: A salmon wearing a bow tie. Uh, professor
Joey: Oh, I like that, but I close. Sophisticated.
Cori Myka: Ah.
Joey: Get after it today, people.